Sunday, January 26, 2014

God the eye-light thing in my mind during an allergic reaction.

Last night this whole allergic reaction thing was still getting to me.  I was laying in bed and was wheezing pretty bad, and I had taken some prescription meds that were supposed to help, but I still couldn't sleep.  These meds had also relaxed me like these kind of meds tend to do, but I still had an annoying wheeze that was keeping me up.  I was praying to God a frustrated prayer for healing, but also a prayer that I could, you know, live right and stuff and know Him better. 

All of the sudden I saw a vision in my mind's eye of some evil faces with condemning scowls looking at me, some had lightening and fire shooting out at me and my spirit calmly said "look beyond all that", and then I saw that these scary faces were illuminated by distorting the light of God that was shining on me.   There was just a single point of light now, but it was dimmed so that I could look directly at it. The point of light then took the shape of an eye and I could see that God was looking at me and I was looking at Him, or at least a vision of Him as an eye-light thing. 

I said God please heal me, and tell me what I should do with my life to be happy and please you.    The word's of Christ came immediately to my mind "I only do what I see my Father doing."  I then realized that if I was looking at God's eye-light vision thing that I was aiming in the wrong direction to be able to see what He was seeing.  So my spirit said, "You'll need to turn around to see".  Since I was sick I assumed that when I turned around somehow I would be provided relief from the wheezing, but instead I rolled over and my eyes immediately fell upon my wife and one of my daughters laying there asleep.  "This is what I am seeing for you to be doing, it's right in front of you every day." was the phrase that rang through my spirit.  It struck me very deeply, and confirmed in me a conviction that I need to prune some activities from my life and focus more on my wife and family.

The wheezing didn't stop then, I actually had to get up and go sleep in a chair because it was more comfortable to breathe.  This morning I got up to go to my weekly meeting I have with my friends at a local restaurant where we talk, pray, and discuss many things, but mostly spiritual things.  One of my good friends noticed I was still having trouble breathing, and told the group "let's pray for Dax right now", and so they did, and over the course of the conversation after that my lungs loosened and my breathing eased.

I think God sees me increasing my love for family first and also friends, and spending less time on things over which I have little influence or control and that cause me the kind of stress that even my allopathic doctor blamed for bringing upon this allergic episode to begin with.