Dax Ewbank - Mexican Food Consultant

I'm thinking about starting a new career as a consultant to Mexican restaurants. I think I have some pretty good insight into how exactly a Mexican Restaurant ought to be run. Years of experience eating Mexican food and yearning for all the perfect aspects of good service to be present in one place have driven me to consider what it would take to make the perfect Mexican restaurant.

First some general observations:

1. All Mexican food is basically the same - beans, rice, chicken or beef, and cheese in some variation or combination. Maybe some veggies here or there to give it some color.

2. People expect free stuff when they eat Mexican food, minimally chips and salsa, ideally chips, salsa, queso, pico, tortillas and relish.

3. Most people view the quality of service at a Mexican restaurant by whether or not their iced tea remained full and whether or not they ever ran out of whatever free stuff the restaurant offers. They also view the quality of the restaurant by the amenities provided to accentuate certain products. For instance, tea should be served in very large plastic cups with lots of ice. Beer should always be served in large frozen glass (never plastic) goblets with lime and salt on the rim. The only beers offered should be Corona, Tecate, and Dos Equis. You can offer weanie American beer but just serve it in the bottle.




Now some cognitive processing based on these observations:

1. Since all Mexican food is basically the same, the quality of the recipe is not the number one thing that brings people to a Mexcian restaurant. People go to Mexican restaurants because they already know what the food is going to taste like, kind of like McDonald's, most people are cowardly lemmings and are afraid of any kind of change. So advertising that your Mexican restaurant is different or even better (which implies different) is a sure way to keep people away. You should call it "Traditional Tex-Mex", which implies that the food is simply rice, beans, chicken or beef, and cheese, all arranged in the usual combinations and that won't freak people out.

2. Provide all the free stuff and keep it coming. People think they're getting a deal when you provide the free stuff, and they like that feeling. They will never put the fact together that the fajitas that cost $21.95 have the exact same ingredients as the quesadillas that cost $12.95 and require less work. It's a beautiful bit of marketing the in the history of Mexican food that makes the food that is not all the way prepared cost more than the food that requires more preparation, almost as clever as sushi, but it would be a little gross and possibly dangerous not to cook the chicken.

3. Training of the wait staff is vital in order properly provide the illusion of quality. I will get into this next, but the basics are pretty simple, make sure that the customer never runs out of tea, or any of the free stuff. Make sure that if the customer wants another beer, that he or she gets a new freshly frozen goblet, NEVER put another beer into an unfrozen goblet. For people who prefer "American" beer like Coor's Light or something you can just set a "sixer" next to the table, if you didn't already run them out of the restaurant for not wearing a shirt.

Service Considerations:



Being a Mexican Restaurant waiter or waitress is respectable and hard work, and one can make a good living at it if it is done right. As a member of the wait staff what you need to remember is one of the primary reason people are paying for food that they could very simply make at home is that they want to be served. Here are some guidelines to follow:

1. Shut up. People didn't go out to eat in order to talk to you so don't try to be overly friendly. If the customer engages you in conversation realize that he is either a) just being friendly but doesn't really want to talk or b) he is fantasizing about dating you because the only interaction he has with the opposite sex is when they are being paid to service him. Keep your conversations short, and very surface. If a customer asks how you are doing, don't tell them that your kid is sick or you've been on duty for 12 hours or anything like that, just say "Great, how are you guys". Notice you always address the entire table, never a single person in the table. This is very good wait staff etiquette as it helps the table to feel as a group and aids in their camaraderie.

2. Shut up. If you see an empty tea glass it is not necessary to ask "Would you like more tea?". It's free, just put the tea in the glass. This also goes for chips, salsa, tortillas, relish or any other complementary item. I think many waiters and waitresses think they are doing their boss some kind of favor by limiting the number of freebies they give a customer, as if they are saving their boss money by denying the customer a tortilla or an extra cup of watered down salsa. In reality what they are doing is ticking off the customer and their tip is rapidly decreasing every second the customer goes without any complementary item, not to mention they are creating a reason for the customer not come back the restaurant the next time they go out.

3. Take off the blinders. I've noticed that many waiters and waitresses walk around the restaurant and exhibit a very well developed but useless skill. They are able to peruse the entire restaurant without ever making eye contact with anyone at any of the tables they are in charge of. They do this on purpose in order to get out of doing their job. What they don't realize is that this ticks the customer off. ALWAYS MAKE EYE CONTACT with your tables anytime you are within eyesight of them. If you have been enough of a louse that they have to ask you for a refill, then you've already screwed up, don't make it worse by ignoring them.



4. Don't Freak Out. I find this often, I go to restaurants around 1:30 or 2:00 long after the lunch hour rush. It's just me and maybe one or two other tables, but the wait staff acts as if the place is full and there's a line around the block. This is because they are not good at being waiters or waitresses. They suffer from what I call "poor me waitress syndrome" where they are basically trying to shift the blame for their inability to do their job onto the fact that the restaurant is busy. The give away for this disease is that once the busy rush passes, these kind of waiters or waitresses never get out of "freaked out" mode, even if you're the only customer in the building. These kind of wait staff should be fired. A good waiter or waitress should never have to increase or decrease the speed of their service depending on how busy the restaurant is. If they do have to change the effort they put into the service of each table when the place is busy, it means they are slacking when the place is slow, and ticking off customers in the process. As a member of the wait staff, you should find the speed that you are able to properly serve your table, remembering orders and keeping the chips and tea full, and always work at that speed no matter how busy the place is. You will find that you will be much more relaxed at work, you will be able to take care of your customers better and they will give you much bigger tips. Like I said, people are mainly cowardly lemmings, and when they see someone who is calm and in control even in the midst of apparent chaos, they will feel loved and protected and they will reward you accordingly. However, when they see a freaked out waitress it triggers in them the "flight" response and causes them to associate your restaurant with fear and death.

5. Sell the freebies. Here's how I look at it. Your greedy capitalist boss is paying you $3.00 an hour and raking in the cash selling nearly rotten meat on a rusted pan for $30.00. However in the excess of his bounty your boss has given you something in addition to your $3.00 an hour, and that is the complementary items of the restaurant. In the eyes of the customer, your tip is directly tied to your generosity with your boss's complementary items. You will not get a raise if at the end of the month you boss saves $10.00 because you were overly stingy with the tortillas, because your boss will have lost several customers in the saving of that $10.00. However you will get a raise if the customer feels so well treated by the showering of tortillas you provided that he or she leaves an extra $5.00 tip. I actually calculate the tip I am going to give based on the number of tortillas I receive. When my family is out there is 6 of us, and I feel like it would be ideal if we all received at least 3 tortillas if we are having fajitas. So I just pay $.33 - $.50 per tortilla and then I deduct $.50 for every time I have to ask for more of any complementary items. Do you now see how you as a member of the wait staff, you are essential getting 100% of the revenue you generate in the form of tips by "selling" the free items to the customer? Your boss isn't so bad after all now is he? If you work at a Mexican restaurant that makes people pay for the freebies, then quit. This is a bad restaurant, and you as the hard working waiter or waitress will end up paying for your customers tortillas and chips because they will deduct the cost of them from your tip.



Imagine with me if you will a world where all the Mexican restaurants had this level of service. I know in heaven this is how it will be, because there won't be any cowardly lemmings or freaked out people in heaven, only people doing exactly what it is God made them to do and doing it with all their might as an act of worship. Whether they are thankfully eating a fajita to the Glory of their creator, or diligently serving their customer as if they were serving God Himself, in heaven the Mexican food will be the perfect combination of beans, rice, chicken or beef and cheese, the beer will be served in perfectly frozen glass goblets, and the tortillas will be as perfectly satisfying as manna from heaven, all served in perfect execution by a heavenly wait staff determined to do their best.

Until then however I hope that we can make some disciples that can give people a little taste of heaven in the flawless execution of their duties as a member of a Mexican restaurant wait staff.